Issue 9
Dear Reader,
Yes, we are celebrating Halloween here at MentalMeds! You'll find several treats, and one trick, in this newsletter.
The treats are the jokes in the humor section. I tried to compile a
list of Halloween jokes involving psychiatrists, but this doesn't seem
to be a popular combination. If you know of any I haven't listed, send
them to me, and I'll include them in the next issue! In the meantime,
feel free to laugh at the jokes below, even the ones that are not
seasonal.
The trick is not a joke, but an article about a serious problem,
namely, what happens if you have an illness that makes you think you
are not ill? That question is the subject of this newsletter's article,
about a fascinating and disturbing condition known as
anosognosia.
Kevin Thompson, Ph.D.
Editor
P.S. As always, if you do not wish to receive email from me, please let
me
know, and I will remove your name from my list.
Table of
Contents
Calling
for Articles
Do you have experiences you would like to share about how you have
coped with mental illness? Uplifting stories? Educational stories?
Email me with your idea, and if it makes sense, I will be happy to
include it in a future issue.
Humor
Funny stuff from around the Internet.
The Monstrous Psychiatrist, from
Sabrena's Madness Mansion
Why did Frankensteins' monster go to the psychiatrist?
He thought one of his screws were loose!
A Halloween Psychology Joke, from
PyschLinks Online
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."
The Ex-Girlfriend, from Summer Rain
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. I kept
staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I
understand she started drinking right after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she hasn"t been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
The Nun and the Fig Leaf, from
RunningForums.com
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local
Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and
every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights
would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
When the revelers saw the nun the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you
that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig
leaf."
"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the
restaurant, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she
came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the
nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't
understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the
restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the
fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about
that drink?"
Obsessions, from
RunningForums.com
A Licensed Counselor was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first
mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your
daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with
money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is
alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her
little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
A Second Opinion, from the
Canonical List of Psychiatrist and Psychologist Jokes
Man goes to a psychiatrist; psychiatrist sez, "You're crazy!"
Man sez, "I want a second opinion!"
Psychiatrist sez, "OK, yer ugly, too!"
Hoist by his own Petard, from the
Canonical List of Psychiatrist and Psychologist Jokes
Hypnotist: "Okay, Mr. Henry, when I say wake up you will no longer be
shy but full of confidence and be able to speak your mind... Wake up!"
Patient: "Right, you! How about giving me a refund, you money-grabbing old skinflint!"
A Second Opinion, from the
Canonical List of Psychiatrist and Psychologist Jokes
A man walks into the psychiatrists office with a pancake on his head,
fried eggs on each shoulder, and a strip of bacon over each ear. The
shrink, humoring him, asks, "What seems to be the problem?"
The guy answers, "Doc, I'm worried about my brother."
Checking Out, from the
Canonical List of Psychiatrist and Psychologist Jokes
A man calls the psychiatrist at a mental hospital and asks who's in room 24.
"Nobody" comes the reply.
"Good" says the man, "I must have escaped."
The Halloween Party, from
Humor Matters
A young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife
came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband he was,
protested. But she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin
and go to bed. She told him there was no need for him to miss the fun.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain,
and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Because
hubby did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have
some kicks watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not
around. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband
cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice
chick he could, and copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he
left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new "action".
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her
husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home and put
the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation
he would have for his notorious behavior. She was sitting up reading
when he came in, and she asked him what he had done. He said, "Oh, the
same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not
there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell
you, I never even danced one dance. When I got to the party, I met
Pete, Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played
poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy that I loaned my
costume to sure had one helluva time!"
Confession is Good for the Soul
A retiring parish priest was being honored at a big dinner. When the
local mayor, who was to give a speech honoring the priest, was late to
arrive, the organizer asked the priest to fill time by saying a few
words to everyone.
"I've had a great fifty years in this parish," Fr. Smith began. "And
although it's been fifty years, I'll never forget my first day here.
"I was an unworldly young man from the country, of very humble origins.
The other seminarians used to kid me about how shocked I would be at
all the sinning that goes on in big cities. I would laugh, and assume
they were joking.
"So there I was, fresh out of the seminary, hearing my first confession in the big city, and the man says to me,
'Father, I have sinned. I drink way too much, and often pass out in the
bar. I have successfully coveted my neighbor's wife, and his neighbor's
wife, and her brother's wife. I have embezzled $50,000 from the police
retirement fund, and spent it all on bribes to get myself into a
position of power. I'm a sad, sorry wretch, and I'll probably go and do
it all over again next week, but I need forgiveness for last week. Can
you help me?'
"Well, let me tell you, I was shocked. Shocked! But I counseled him, gave him his penance, and forgave him in the Lord's name.
"And that was my introduction to this parish! I tell you, I almost
begged the Bishop for another parish, but I stuck it out, and I'm glad
I did. It's been wonderfully satisfying to serve you all over the
years, even if I was nervous about hearing confession for the first few
years!"
The diners laughed and applauded. Just then, the mayor came in, and was
directed to the podium to give his commemorative speech.
"Good evening, everyone," the mayor began, "and please accept my
apologies for being late tonight. I want to tell you all how proud I am
to be here to commemorate Fr. Smith's fifty fine years as our parish
priest. I have to say that time sure flies. Why, it seems only
yesterday when I met him. In fact, I had the honor of being the very
first person whose confession he heard at this parish!"
Send me your
favorite joke, funny story, or amusing picture, as long as
it is related to mental illness. Keep it upbeat, please! Jokes
involving mental illness are welcome, but jokes that demean mental
illness are not. If it's appropriate, I'll put it up on the humor page.
Anosognosia: The Most Devastating Symptom of Mental Illness
by Kevin Thompson, Ph.D.
Mental illness comes in many forms. Depression, bipolar disorder,
schizophrenia, and the anxiety disorders all have the potential to be
crippling, and ruin lives. Yet as terrible as depression, mania,
psychosis, and the other symptoms of these disorders can be, there is
one that stands out as the most damaging of all:
Anosognosia
This obscure word, which is pronounced "uh-no-sog-no-zha," means
"denial of illness," and is more serious than you might think.
Most people understand the psychological concept of denial, which is a
refusal to believe an uncomfortable truth. Who hasn't heard heard a
heavy drinker, eater, smoker, or drug user say, "I can quite any time I
want," or someone with a chronic cough (which may indicate a serious
illness) say, "It's not important--It's just a cough." Pressing the
denier on the obvious gap between reality and his belief typically
yields a flurry of thin excuses that support his position, and can
provoke an outburst of anger if continued long enough.
Denial serves a useful purpose in helping people cope with sudden
change, and is harmless as long as it is not maintained too long.
Denial becomes harmful when it interferes with a person's ability to
cope effectively with the challenges he faces. Fortunately, denial is
temporary in most cases, and even chronic deniers can can learn better
over time.
Anosognosia is quite different. It is not simply denial of a problem,
but the genuine inability to recognize that the problem exists. It is a
common consequence of brain injuries, and occurs to varying degrees in
such disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and Alzheimer's
disease. (I hasten to add that "common" does not mean "universal!" Most
people who suffer from these illnesses are quite aware that they
are sick.)
Someone who has anosognosia isn't being difficult, or refusing to face
the truth. He is literally unable to believe that his illness is, in
fact, an illness. As a result, he does not see any reason to take
medication that can control his illness. Many people who have
anosognosia will refuse to take medication for schizophrenia or bipolar
disorder, because they do not believe they are ill. If pushed, they may
give the appearance of cooperation, while secretly discarding their
medication.
In the case of paranoid schizophrenia, where the patient believes
others are conspiring to harm him or control his life, the combination
of anosognosia and paranoia can provoke the him to violent action in an
attempt to escape his "persecutors." (Sadly, the often debilitating
side effects of antipsychotic medication, which, unlike his illness,
are all too apparent to the patient, provide supporting evidence for
his beliefs.)
For a symptom with such an obscure name, anosognosia plays a prominent
role in both law and medicine. Treatment for most illnesses is taken at
the discretion of the patient, who is free to seek, select, or decline
treatment, as he considers appropriate. However, there are times when
the individual's right to control his medical treatment conflicts with
other important principles, namely, the sanctity of life, and the
protection of others from harm. A person who is in the grip of a severe
psychotic episode, who is judged likely to harm himself or someone
else, may legally be committed to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation
and treatment, on an involuntary basis. Such treatment usually consists
of antipsychotic or mood-stabilizer medications, observation, and
possibly restraint.
Most patients who are prone to psychosis (primarily, those with
schizophrenia) do not have any particular desire to harm other people.
The danger comes not from a desire to harm, but from hallucinations and
delusions that can drive violent actions. (For example, a patient may
sincerely believe he is fighting for his life against an evil force,
when in reality he is attacking an innocent person.) So it is not
surprising that patients who are aware of the nature of their illness,
and the risk of such harm, generally do prefer treatment to prevent
violent incidents. Similarly, patients who have anosognosia about their
psychotic symptoms, but whose behavior
is harmless, may not have a need for medication that justifies removal
of their right to make decisions about their treatment
However, those psychotic patients who are at risk for committing
violent acts, and also have anosognosia, are both dangerous, and unable
to believe that anything is wrong with them. Because of this
belief, they will refuse treatment, and remain dangerous. These are the
patients whose right to control their own treatment conflicts with the
right of others to safety.
In the end, each case must be handled on its own merits, and someone
must make the difficult calls--and be prepared to live with the
consequences. It is because of anosognosia that such calls must be made.
Kevin Thompson,
Ph.D. is the author of
Medicines for Mental Health: The
Ultimate Guide to Psychiatric Medication.
You can find information about treatments for depression, bipolar
disorder, schizophrenia, and sexual problems on his Web site at
www.MentalMeds.org
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for an online or printed publication, send me a note. I write for
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MentalMeds News --
Copyright © 2008 by Kevin Thompson
May be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided material is
attributed to Kevin Thompson, Ph.D. at
www.MentalMeds.org